mid aughts mess

by the rutabega

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lost solo EP, recorded circa 2004
written / performed / recorded by Joshua Wayne Hensley
mastered by Garth Mason
cover photo by Emily Trimboli-Hensley (none of us are proud of this)

*100% of proceeds from this EP will go to TREES, Inc
(Transgender Resource, Education and Enrichment Services of Indiana)


released August 4, 2017



all rights reserved


the rutabega South Bend, Indiana

The Rutabega is a Carp Rock duo from South Bend, Indiana.

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Track Name: the rebellion diary
my mother is writing a book
it's making me sick
every time i see a page sitting around
i have to read it
it goes like this:

“if i could go back when he was younger
i would still read his diary
he was different than the other two
he rebelled
and if i hadn't know about these horrible things
he was planning to do
who knows what could have happened?”

and i want to shout
you couldn't have been
and if he wanted to drink / f*ck / smoke weed
he would've found a way
and so would i

remember my first girlfriend?
her mom would leave us alone for hours
but we never had sex
i wouldn't
not yet
but we came close many times
and one night she had some wine
but i never took a sip
i wouldn't

not yet
Track Name: stuck
no one is older although we have grown
no one is saving your soul
no one can dream your dreams
go dream your own

it's all the same thing when you break it down
everyone's stuck in their own little town
so if i'm stuck here i'm glad that i'm stuck here with you
and i don't care what we do

something else is what we're always waiting for
not anymore
Track Name: shadows
what do you shadows say for yourselves?
what do you gotta say?

sit up and rip into me one more time
till i'm little and can't get out of bed
if you don't have a word that's nice to speak
you should save it
cuz i don't wanna know
Track Name: taste of ground
bit off a bit of black
taste the taste of ground
lit up a heart attack
a vine / a sign / a sound

a clue to glue the wound
a check / a call / a care
to bleed internally
a guess / a game / a dare

I can't verbalize
so load us up

below a cup is full
serene / surreal / surround
present the price of all
arrive / alive / abound

I can't verbalize
so load us up
something to chew on
Track Name: old repairs
holiday and we're gone away
it's all i can say as i throw it away
under stairs with old repairs
on a dare i will throw it away

throw it away and i'm going to leave you alone
for a long time
i'm gonna leave

all you do when i'm turning blue
and i crawl back to you
is throw it away
on my back from your last attack
crawling back and i'll throw it away

melody is floating in the air
when you're around
something is always
causing me to want to sit and stare
at the ground